Frustration & Fear

Dean is soon going to be 3 years old, in 2 months.

And i am still a full time working (in the office mom). It sadden me that i have yet to be a WAHM, after 3 years. Call me chicken, it's easier that way.

Let's do some calculation :

Travelling time + office hours - 10 hours
Sleep                                      -    6 hours (sometimes less)

That leaves me with about 8 waking hours to spend with DH, DS & DD.

Minus praying time, eating time, berak, mandi, mengemas - i barely have time to actually play with DS & DD.

So what is left for DH? I am all exhausted and sometimes cranky and mad and sleepy. Pity DH.

Let's not start on 'me time'. I forgot what's 'me time' is really is.


To make it worst, Dean is acting up quite bad lately. I think he doesn't have that much time with me nowadays. So psychologically, it's affecting him, especially when he says that 'Dean mimpi ibu, Dean rindu ibu'. He cries unconsolable cries, usually making everybody around him stressful.

Only mothers know how heartbreaking that is when your not yet 3 years tell to your face. All the days working in the office does not compensate this. It's not worth it at all. It's not worth to work your ass off for few thousand but your heart is at home, is not happy, is not with your children.

Do i have a choice? Yes.

Kuatkan Hati

I wish i can be home with you all the time.
but i can't.

Prolly Ibu is bad person that leaves you and adik at home and too chicken to take the leap.

But i miss you a lot right now.

Oktober 2013

Berbicara dengan anak syurga, sebelum tidur..

Ibu : Dean, nanti ibu dah takde, jaga Babah elok-elok ya?
Dean : Abuuuu... Abuuuuu... (sayu betul dia panggil ibu)
Ibu : Ya, sayang. Kenapa?
Dean : Dean itut. Itut abu alan-alan..

Ok, that made me cry a river.

Such, a sweet sweet boy.

First war wound. Jatuh tergolek dog depan rumah. Brave though, nangis sekejap sahaja.

Dun, as Dean pronounces Don.

Dean adores Ustaz Don since he was a baby. He would wake up whenever the '30 minit ustaz don' jingle is on air.

It's a good obsession don't you think?

Semoga mendapat aura alim ulama dan jiwa pendakwah daripada Ustaz Don.

Dean & Don, Al-Rahji Bank - 5 September 2013

Falling in love is easy..

when looking at you both.

Babah and Dean, first photo together.

Saya.

Nama saya Dean Nassri.

Dan ini adalah perjalanan hidup saya dari kacamata Ibu dan Babah saya.